Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Prodigal

So I guess that once again I am back.  I apologize for the site being completely offline for a bit.  The feral monkeys I hired to do the accounting for the vast financial empire that is Hotmud.net forgot to pay the bill for the domain registration so about 3 or 4 of you saw a holding page for a week.  Those responsible have been sacked.  Unfortunately for the rest of you
out there I feel less bad about the twenty months or so without a post. 

But hey I’m a really busy guy.  Lots of places to do, people to go, smells to see...and speaking of incoherent gibberish, I got a strange drunk dial the other day from my infamous evil twin Skippy.  It took quite a bit of deciphering of the voice mail just to figure out that it was him and in the end the rest of the message was just a recipe for Pruno. So I guess ‘ol Skip is once again chillin at Club Fed for weaving his Black Hat magic.  Skateboarding is not a crime kids, but hacking investment banks most certainly is.

Happy belated 8th birthday to Hotmud.net.  The remedial math and reading tutors last summer did the trick and we passed third grade this year. The Ivy League awaits.
___________________________________________________________

In Rotation: The Gaslight Anthem and Jennifer Nettles.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Six years

Maybe we’re the lucky ones
‘Cause we can choose to turn it off
Maybe we’re the lonely ones
‘Cause we decide to shield what’s soft

I’m sure you’ll learn to dance and drink and dream
but you might still feel lost

And I see myself in you my friend
but I would break where you would bend
I’m calling on what you defend and tonight I won’t hold back

- The Loved Ones

Yes folks, it’s the “anniversary post”.  So six years ago there was a little thing on the nets that called itself E/N.  Ostensibly that stood for “Everything and Nothing” but it was more like “Entertainment and News”. I’d link to a history of E/N but they all seem to have gone the way of the internet dinosaurs. Lets just say that this was long before Blogger or Livejournal or god help us Myspace and Friendster.  Many of the “free” webhosts of the day allowed the use of “backend “ CGI programs and some of the geekier netziens saw this as an opportunity for what I like to think of as nano scale self publishing.  They posted things they were interested in or they posted angsty social commentary or quite often some good ‘ol pornography.  There were intersite rivalrries and lots of virtual back patting too.  Some people got way too big and nearly all have faded away. I’ll admit the heydey of this site was 2001-2003 when we had a crew of six voices all adding to the mix.  A concurrent phenomenon known as weblogging eventually pushed the snotty nosed step sibling E/N into the dustbin of the internet.  (Alright not quite all of them but I’m trying to be poetic and serious here, indulge me mmkay?)

In the summer of 2000 I was at a point in my life where I was ending old things and starting new ones.  Six years later and six blocks north I sit here once again typing words into a box on a screen trying to make some sense of the world. Once again, I’m ending old thngs and starting fresh.  Six years, that’s the cycle.  I can see it clearly from a forty four year perspective.  Two months in, and I’ve got nothing but time.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Exes and Ohs

Is it safe to come out?  Hey where’d the bed go?

Oh yeah, I was having some renovations done at palatial Casa Hotmud.  Things seem ...smaller though, and all my furniture is gone.

Damn this place is really empty.  Oh okay there’s a slip of paper over there in the corner.  Whaddaya know it’s Victoria’s Secret receipt.  There’s something scrawled on the back in black finepoint marker.

Heh.  It says:

This little mental image is causing scar tissue to
form at an unbelievable rate as my brain tries to
burn its image from my long term memory banks.

“...of course for the links I’ll probably substitute pictures of a Ron
Jeremy/Nell Carter/Gary Coleman bi-love threesome. “

In my handwriting it then says:

"Eeek, I kinda forgot about that one.

Um, sorry?

Did that sound insincere?

Eh, some days you just feel like Hannibal Lecter at a
Chilean plane crash and everything seems right in the
world.”

“If you were always happy you wouldn’t be a human
being, you’d be a game show host.”

Wow that is just way too weird.  Oh yeah, I’m back I guess. 

Got mucho to jabber on about, unfortunately most of you will never pass the stringent vetting process.  Get over it babycakes.

Oh snap! Sprinextel gives an early xmas present to all those professional stalkers out there.  Then they promptly fix this rather glaring blunder before things get too hairy.

Hello right hand? Yeah, this is left hand, what’cha doing?

Keep that dial tuned, I’ve got some retro hotmud for ya and an assload of links backing up my browser.  Soonish.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Out of the Cellar

Holy crap what kinda hellhole is this place?  I was just over at the local Hooters, drinkin a frosty one and getting my grope on, if you know what I mean (wink).  Would you believe there’s a daycare center right next door to the Hooters? I’m not kidding.  Real classy suburbia yah got here bro.  Oh yeah, H is off in the corner crying. I am Skippy’s complete lack of surprise.  Something about a small tornado.  0h will ya shut up already!  Next thing ya know he’ll be putting on, ho no you don’t, not Dashbored Confessional!!!!!  Fucking EMO.





Where’d that cool chick go?  She at least had some metal I could listen to and not some stupid fucking EMO whining. Hey I kinda dug her man, she was kinky.  What the fuck did you do?  Oh there he goes into the bedroom and he’s hiding under the bed.  Good, now I can change the music.  Hmmm I got some Lightning Bolt (Lightning Bolt are the proof of the existence of God) or maybe some Melvins.  Oh wait there’s some Big Black mp3s sitting on H’s harddrive.  Now that’s some Old School shit.  I wish he had some Iron Maiden or Slaughter but he’s too erudite for that I guess.

Oh hold up kids, he’s now shrieking about something from under the bed.  H shrieking in the bedroom is not something unusual, he might be super lame but one thing I gotsta give props to muh boy H, he’s a stud in the sack. It’s all about giving pleasure baby.

Okay I’ll bite, lemme go see what the fuck is going on.  Hold on to your nads (if ya got em) for a sec......

Look at some pr0n while I’m away.

Bwahahahahaha!  That’s fucking hilarious though H doesn’t think so.  Somebody left a wee little present under the bed.

Just lookie. lookie.

Oh my sweet mother of all that is smelly and disgusting, yes I think thats a moldy and dessicated dog poopie!!!!!!  Though it could be vomit too, it’s hard to tell.

Well, I’ve downloaded all of H’s passwords onto my USB thumb drive.  I’m gonna head out for a bit of wardriving with my uber laptop, use someone elses network to loot Hotmud’s bank accounts again, and then it’s off to Atlantic City for some Texas Hold Em and some hookers.  This place is fucking depressing man, get yourself some better digs and I might not fuck you over the next time I show my mug.

For some strange reason I feel like saying that “it’s only after we’ve lost everything that we are free to do anything”.  Hey, that’s pretty fucking ironic.

(From under the bed)"No it’s not.  It’s smug self awareness.”

Hey, who asked you Mr. Smarty Pants!

Okies kids, smoke a bowl or three for me, I feel like destroying something beautiful.  I’m sooooo outta here.

Friday, May 26, 2006

A little less Sixteen Candles, a little more what the fuck?!?!

"One whose hand, like the base Indian, threw a pearl away. richer than all his Tribe.  I have lost my pearl, my pearl beyond price.”

“If you are so careless with your posessions, you should expect them to be taken from you.”

-Angela Carter, “The Tiger’s Bride”, from The Bloody Chamber, Penguin Books, 1979

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Back again

Turn back the hand on the clock

you’re a bitter old man who’s done nothing

but work your hands to the bone on the assembly lines

you’ve grown cold to the touch of the ones that you love

ignorance is something you can’t overcome but you’ve passed it on down

and that’s something much worse for a bitter young man…

is now taking the torch

Dropkick Murphys

So we’re back, well really it’s just me.  The old school Hotmud crewe have mostly dispersed. What was once the Philly crewe has ended up the Durban-Glasgow-NYC-Philly don’t talk much anymore because well, mostly because I suck.  It was very nice to take a big break after five years.  Traffic was (er that’s is) nonexistant so I decided to go into a bit of hibernation.  Now with V.6 we’ve got a new host, and a new backend (php booty Expression Engine Core).  The design is mos def temporary, just got dork around with the CSS a smidge to make it more personal.  And I think it’s just going to stay personal for a bit, we’ll see if I feel like adding in any more authors this time.  Not sure what to do with five years of archived post, most of which are in a terrible format.  Maybe I’ll serve them back up as “retro” posts and not try to convert it all.  More to come this week.  H(out)